Empowered vs Paralyzed

 We have a choice of which mindset we will engage with. It starts with what we choose to focus on.

A paralyzed mindset focuses on the circumstances out of our control

• things we cannot control
  • what others say / think / do
    • we give their voices and OPINIONS power over us
  • forces of nature
  • there is nothing we can do to stop it and it's shaking up our normal
    • example: pandemics
    • we give it power to tell us NO
  • Circumstances
    • a job that is downsized
    • a shift in the economy
    • we give it the power to stop us from moving forward
  • Expectations of others
    • I have no control over people following through with promises and I give it power to influence my frustration levels

An empowered mindset focuses on the things we can control

• Things we can control
  • What and who we listen to
    • Instead of giving power to other people's voices and opinions, we set boundaries and give power to our voice by letting people know what we will and will not receive from them
  • What we do with our time / what we choose to engage in
    • We control the things we say yes to and the things we say no to, giving us power over our calendar and resources
  • What actions we choose to take
    • I may not be able to control the results, but I can control the actions I take to set me up for intended results.
  • Expectations of ourselves
    • I have control on whether I live up to them or not

The key is to focus on what we can control, and when things out of our control get hold of our mindset, identify a solution versus focusing on the problem.

Ex 1:

• I cannot control the cancelling of all of the events on my calendar this month
  • I can control what I do with the time I have been given back by the cancellations. Some things I can do are:
    • phone calls to build relationships with new people in my network
    • customer checkin calls
    • find a place to volunteer my time / serve others

Ex 2:

• My expectation of someone making a purchase from me is out of my control
  • I can control whether I engage in a conversation with that person to identify pain points I might be able to offer a solution for
  • I can control whether I take the time to ask questions and listen

Ex 3:

• I cannot control that my family is not supportive of my business and often speaks negatively about it around me
  • I can control how I respond to their negativity and voice my desire that they please keep negative opinions to themselves.
  • I can let them know I hear what they think, I don't agree and respectfully ask that they honor that.
  • I can limit my exposure to their thoughts and opinions and let them know why I limit my time with them.
  • I can let them know that I'd love to spend more time with them if they are ready to honor and respect my requests 
  • I can remove any and all expectations of my family supporting my business and focus on finding the people who need the solutions I offer.

FOCUSED THINKING SKILL DEVELOPMENT

Make this exercise part of your empowered mindset took kit. Use it anytime you find yourself losing focus and slipping into a paralyzed or panicked mindset.

List the things you are aware of currently that are not in your control.

• what is your current situation that you have no control over
• who might you be trying to control (control what they say, do or think)
• people you are expecting results from

For each thing you listed that is out of your control, list something you do have the power to do in response to that.